They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
