You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
where are my eyebrows?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
