i would punch a child for taco bell
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's the barista slut.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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