How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
