i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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