just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
