Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize