I want to stick my p in your. b.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
