The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize