An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
