I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
