I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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