am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize