just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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