I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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