In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
