please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
