your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
