we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
