you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
