she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
