Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
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