Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
