You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
