Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
