I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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