For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
