my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
