Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
