Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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