I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
