his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize