She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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