We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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