the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
