I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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