I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
