Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
