2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize