im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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