so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
