Apparently you make a good broom.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
