dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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