Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
