i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
