just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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