Cold hands, warm shart.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
