i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
