GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
