i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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