too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
