Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize