i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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