New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize