I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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