I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
