Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I want is dick and wine.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
