Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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