Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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