Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
