what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
