too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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