You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
