Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
