Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So vagazzling was a success
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
