You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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