he wants to bone in the snuggie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
