My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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