I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
