DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
