You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize