he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
