If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
