thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
