I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
