The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
