she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
